part two.
“well okay i don’t care what will he think about me. this is a chance for me. i don’t know if i would see him online too”. I chat him. the first sentence i typed “Haloo abang :D” waiting for his reply... my heart was beating fast, my hand sweated and i was totally nervous. minutes passed by and his reply appeared in my screen,“halo juga adeek :D”. “WOHOOOOOOOOOO” i screamed, i danced like dumb -_- hahahaha maybe you’ve known what kind of feeling that i felt at that time. and yeahh.... i replied it again, he replied it again and again and continued till midnight. I closed my laptop and went to my bed and huaaaaahhhh “i’ll have a sweet dream tonight” :D
and it happened for the following days. we always had a chat before we went to bed. I didn’t know how to describe my feelings but over all i was so DAMN MUCH happy! >.< until one time, there was 2 messages from unknown number and do you know who was that? that was bang robert. Oh my God >.<! he asked me if he could call me. of course i said he could hahaha :D and yeaaah we had 2 hours on the phone. actually, over all of our conversation, i had a bad news. he only wanted me as his sister and will never more than it :( what a superduperhyper bad news T_______________T my heart tore into pieces and i felt so down. oh Jesus, why?
the next day, i decided to send him a message. maybe he just didn’t wanna open his heart for anyone but didn’t mean i didn’t have any chance, did i? i had to try my best, i didn’t wanna take one step behind, but i wanna take one step forward. maybe in your mind, i’m sounded like “too agresive” as a girl. I don’t blame you for what you said, but actually i’m not like that. i just can’t control myself or hide my feeling for anyone. I bet he already knew that i liked him -.- that’s one of my foolish. I knew the condition must be he chased me, not i chased him. but what could i do? kept my feeling from anyone and waited for him to like me without anything i could do? I totally couldn’t do it. how could he have a feeling for me if i just kept silent here and only looked at him from a distance? I blamed myself for what i did. I really wanna be like another girls, waited for someone they liked to chase them not like me. oooohhhhhhh neptunus -____________________-
okay back to the topic. he replied my message. I was totally glad :D yeah eventhough i already i knew that i was just only his sister :( and day passed by, i still was the one who sent message first. it was already 2 weeks maybe and no progress. i still looked at my phone and waited for his message, maybe at that night we would me sent me message first? seconds, minutes and hours passed by and nothing happened to my phone, still no new message from him appeared on my phone screen. “hmm maybe i have to give up and forget him, throw away all of my wishes that wanted to be his gf. it’s time for me to stay away from him and will never do this again to him. he is only my senior and will never more than it. he doesn’t like me and will never like me. i’m not her type and i have to realize if i still continued it, it just can make him doesn’t like me more. bye, bang robert. thanks for our 2 weeks conversation” i kept my phone and went to bed. It’s really hard for me to sleep, i still wanted to send him message but i threw that thought away and tried to control myself. I didn’t wanna make the condition worse if i continued it. i closed my eyes and tried to sleep even it was so hard, but finally i fell asleep....
continued to part three...
21.14 |
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